So today was the last day as a PT1 and in september will be officially be a PT2. Reflecting back, I can't believe a year has gone by, time has just flown by. Granted it was not an easy year, in fact, it has probably been one of my most challenging years. This year has challenged me to go way beyond my limits, and to finally attempt to learn to interact more with others. It has also taught me to try to not sweat the small stuff and attempt to try to enjoy and explore life since it is relatively short and can change at anytime.
The highlights? Being so stressed with school that I started being so sensitive to planes that fly above that I started studying in the bathroom at home. Being so sleep-deprived that I started falling asleep on random people in the transit system. Staying for hours in the anatomy lab trying to memorize muscles and brain structures. Having a very negative clinical experience and having to using some interesting coping mechanism that are not always very healthy, definitely not my best month. Sleeping for 5 hours a day for a whole month while studying. Eating 9 oranges/day + drinking 3 glasses of orange juice to attempt to improve my immunity and counteract the stress. Everyone identifying me as the person that falls asleep in class and entertains all others with my interesting sleep patterns.
Was it all bad? No, I met some incredible people, and become good friends with a few and we had a lot of laughs on those long days and nights in either anat lab or practical lab. Without good friends I've learned its impossible to survive the program. You always need someone to talk to on those cramming days when you don't know if you can learn all of neuroanatomy in the span of 3 days. Or when you're freaking out if you passed another test.
I have definitely grown up quite a bit in the past year, throw a lot less tantrums at home and have a different perspective on life now then I did a year ago. I have started to learn to accept things that I cannot change, to try to stop regretting every decision I ever made, and to at least try to go out sometimes and have fun since there is only so much time that any one person has. I have also learned how to try to relate to patients without becoming emotionally involved and have also learned how to conduct a decent patient interview.
I definitely don't feel ready to be a PT2 and don't feel like I actually know anything except cranial nuclei and how to do a sit to stand, and how to titrate oxygen. I can usually attempt to diagnose a condition but have no idea how to treat it. I'm also terrified about my future clinical placements due to the bad experiences I've had.
To sum up this year: crazy, difficult, tiring, sleep-depriving, stressful, life-changing.
Hope next year, I learn enough skills to actually be more confident with being a PT instead of having to pretend I know what I'm doing. Can I ask for a little less stress perhaps? Probably asking for too much.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
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