It is tough to swallow a bitter pill, especially in life. I came into this program optimistically thinking that everyone tries to keep your interests at heart, but I quickly learned its not the case. Being in a class of 80 people in a way it is understandable that not everyone will get what they want in terms of placements or research choices but it is still hard to accept. I feel that the faculty really don't care what experiences we have as long as we get through the components of the program and I feel this is a very unfair way of doing things. We're also not given full information about placements and are just asked to pick blindly not knowing the exact unit, what it entails and what clinician will be there.
Based on our picking our research project, we were basically asked to rank 10/18, and were told that we would get top 5 when of course a lot of us didn't, and got stuck with projects we didn't really want but were forced to rank. The hardest thing to accept is that I know now that some people will get more opportunities later on when they graduate because of the research that they did and the connections that they made, and that is what annoys me most.
I quess I'm just tired of the unequal opportunities we get that are based on nothing but luck. Now I can't say I would do a lot better if things were based on marks since I'm definitely not top of the class. To me I quess it's just another thing to add of things that I can't control and is unfair.
The placements is a whole other story since there is sometimes no logic on who get's what and it really is based on luck. I have had to employ some really interesting strategies to at least try to get what I wanted, and it usually means accepting something that I don't necessarily want but willing to accept so as not to get sent 2 hours of travelling in the opposite direction. I've felt guilty because some of my friends aren't so lucky and I don't always give the best advice on what they should choose.
Compounding all the other issues is of course that my grandfather has had to move in with us temporarily due to a bad eye infection where we have had to give him 4 diff types of drops 4 times/day, and its complicating matters in our family and making all of us more stressed and he's becoming more depressed.
I quess I have to accept that I don't always get what I want, and I just have to make the best of it because in life you rarely get what you want, at least that's what I learned from my life so far.
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