So my stress level reached a max yesterday after my anatomy test where I actually lost it and started screaming and crying at home and actually have no recollection of what I said and why...I now realize my stress level finally reached its breaking point and I couldn't handle it anymore.
Why? Well I officially failed my first PT test, yes I am that person that failed. Now the test was incredibly unfair and considering that I had a week to study for it, I actually did better than I thought, but of course it's not good enough...
Most people only focus about the getting in part, but don't know understand how crazy it is once they do get in. You really do become physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Imagine commuting for 2 hours every day, sitting in class for 6 hours, being in an anatomy lab with cadavers for another 2 hours, and then staying after class studying for another 4 hours, and you see why I have no energy to do anything anymore. Of course add in the extra traffic for the holidays from planes flying overhead and of course a family member who is sick, and you see my life for the past 2 weeks.
What the teachers fail to realize is that eventually everyone reaches a point where they can't absorb anymore information and they do reach a breaking point. Let's just say reaching a breaking point is not good physically or mentally.
The problem now is that the schedule just get's worse and worse, and I'm being forced to choose to study during the holidays so that I am at least semi-prepared when going back in January.
I realize that life is not meant to be easy, and I have to keep reminding myself how 'lucky' I am to have gotten into this competitive program but....it is incredibly stressful and I just wish sometimes that not all problems would occur at the same time, but alas that is not my destiny.
Otherwise, hope everyone enjoys the coming weekend! TGIF
What happens if you fail a test? I kinda felt like you back when I was doing my BA. I was in a super competitive program, but nowhere near the top of the class. People would try to point out to me that I was smart because I got in... but... eh... yeah.
ReplyDeleteWe're lucky, they basically tell us to pass the next test, otherwise we could go on remediation but nobody really fails unless they miss a lot of classes and then they would probably be asked to stay another year and repeat the unit.
ReplyDeleteYeah I never felt smart for getting into the program either, I mostly felt like I failed to accomplish my original goal (as unrealistic as I now realize it was).