So I had a long day yesterday, but it was probably one of the first days where I actually enjoyed myself and forgot about my problems, and that is really, really rare.
Firstly, I finally admitted that so far I HATE my program, yes I admit it, and that felt great! To finally get that off my chest, now don't get me wrong I still love the profession and I met some great people in my class, I just hate the way they teach and structure it, but I have accepted that this is another hoop to jump through and another hurdle to overcome and eventually (if I will actually survive the program) it will end!
Why was it a good day? Well I did something I almost never do, I went out! Yes I went to a Christmas Festival with some classmates from class and I really enjoyed it and I don't even celebrate Christmas! It sounds like a simple thing to do but I almost never go out downtown because I am usually really afraid of getting sick and also because of my asthma.
As I've mentioned before I have mild asthma, to the point where I can't even classify it as such because I almost never have symptoms and if I do, they're not severe. The problem is that being downtown is a big trigger for my asthma because of the constant smoking, high density and car exhaust. Of course, my friends, not knowing about my asthma and not wanting to use money for transit, decided to walk for 15 min to the shuttle bus, yeah of course walking with the cars and smokers meant that almost right away I started wheezing and gasping....yeah this is usually when a normal person would use their inhaler, but as you now realize, I'm very far from normal, and of course can't use one. I did also start using a technique called PLB (pursed lip breathing) that they taught us, that does help a little and at least takes the edge off.
Now, I have learned to observe my symptoms and as long as I can still talk and don't have chest pain, I just ignore the wheezing, but the problem is that even at the festival there were a lot of smokers, car exhaust from nearby roads and even a bonfire, so of course my lungs really didn't like it and of course the chest pain started....that's when I realize that I should probably go home, before something worse happens. Of course as soon as I left, all the symptoms stopped.
So the real question is should I let asthma control what I do and where I go? I mean, I could just avoid downtown all together, and then wouldn't have any symptoms right?
The funny thing, is that without realizing it, that's what I've been doing for the past 4 years, being afraid of getting out for fear of triggering a cold or asthma, but I've been miserable. I mean today, even with the weather being cold (-2C) and not wearing proper footwear, and being on a bus that decided to take a longer route than walking (yes it's possible) and even wheezing and gasping, I loved getting out and relaxing!
So if it's between staying home without symptoms, or going out and wheezing, I choose going out because sometimes its worth it to take a risk because without risks there is not point in living and of course it is definitely true what they say, the city comes alive in the evenings
Hey Ann,
ReplyDeleteYou can't use inhalers? Why?
Hey Kerri, unfortunately I get a heart arrhythmia from them, and my asthma is not severe enough for the benefits to outweigh the risks.
ReplyDeleteYeah it's pretty ironic that I am supposed to advising people to live healthy and yet don't want to go to a doctor myself. What's more crazy is that I would probably have no asthma symptoms if I didn't live in such a big city, with such bad air quality. But of course, moving is not always an option.
There must be some other medical alternative. Avoiding things because you can't take asthma meds sounds crazy. I've never heard of anyone not being able to take inhalers across the board. Which kinds have you tried?
ReplyDeleteOn the above point, inhaled steroids may reduce your symptoms completely and don't have any cardiac side effects [tachycardia]. You could ask your doctor about this instead of just not medicating at all. It won't help in an acute exacerbation, but it'll help the background inflammation that causes exacerbations.
ReplyDeleteI don't technically avoid things....maybe a little....the problem is I have had a lot of problems with meds, and probably know a little too much....I'm reluctant to take any corticosteroids because of the effect on the heart and the immune suppression.
ReplyDeleteIn relation to LABA's, I'm reluctant to take them because of the warning on them put on them by the FDA, so docs can't really help me otherwise.
My own personal philosophy is that the pros have to outweigh the cons for me to take meds, and most days my asthma is under control, I'm not SOB and don't have chest pain, and even when I do, the attack stops after a few minutes if I leave the situation.
Unfortunately, I have had a few too many bad experiences with docs and no longer trust them, and basically do my own research and decide what to do. A 5min appointment with a doc will not solve my problem (I've tried), and the pulmonologist (after a year of being on a wait-list) will think I'm crazy since I barely have symptoms and would just tell me to not go downtown.
My ideal situation would be if I could move to a city with less air pollution but that's unrealistic since there are no jobs there...
So I've resigned to the fact that as long as I can tolerate my symptoms, and they don't become too severe, I will, and I will probably never be able to live downtown, but that's a small sacrifice to pay, (it's too busy there anyway!).
That's kinda unfortunate. Limiting yourself like that. I can't imaging how you go thru life. Do you not exercise? Do colds pretty much kill you? Is your asthma affected by periods? You're going to end up with lung damage, man. All those little flares add up. There's such a thing as bad doctors, but that shouldn't make you doubt the entire medical system. You talk about pros and cons, but what you're doing to your body with repeated flares is going to cause you more damage than the risks associate with the meds. And if your asthma is as mild as you say it is, you won't need much in the way of meds to keep it under control. Symbicort, for example, is both LABA and corticosteroid. But I'm off it more of the time than I'm on it. And it does wonders. Think about it.
ReplyDeleteI'll try to clarify, so everyone doesn't think I'm completely mad....I'm a very very light asthmatic, I don't really get bad flares, I think I only had one or two in 4 years, and colds don't usually affect me that much if I stay home for the first few days and get better. I can exercise (now no time though), the only thing I can't do is run for long periods of time, everything else is fine.
ReplyDeleteI don't doubt the entire medical system, I still go to a doctor if I get bronchitis or an ear infection, and the best medical system we've experienced was probably in Israel, here though its a different story.
The only real limitation I have is breathing in cigarrette smoke and car exhaust, and even then it doesn't really produce a flair.
You have convinced me to think about my symptoms more seriously, and I should probably at least have a back-up inhaler, even if I never use it, just in case I do have a bad flair.