Dating is Not easy

Now I remember why I gave up on dating before, it was the whole frustration and pain that made me wish I would be single for the rest of my life!

As the job aspects in my life have sort of settled down, I decided why don’t I try dating for a bit, explore my options? I mean I don’t really have anything to lose, right? I’m more mature now, and hopefully better able to deal with rejection and pain in general…which is sort of true…except its still very frustrating and painful..

After going on 7 blind dates in the past 2 months, I am exhausted! Out of the 7, there are only 2 where I felt we had some sort of compatibility, and only 1 to whom I was actually interested in…the other 5…well, let’s just say I can’t stand starbucks anymore.  

It has gotten to the point, where I’m actually dreading on going on anymore dates! Where are all these coming from? Well, 3 online dating sites + match ups through friends and neighbours…I keep thinking, I should be grateful to be an eligible bachelorette, but honestly I just want to hide under a rock somewhere!

One of these dates was actually really funny, I already knew we didn’t have anything in

common, and the guy was bold enough to ask in the car, how I thought the date went!

After a couple of minutes of being in utter shock, I was honest and said that I thought it

wasn’t going to quite work, he actually said that he has a friend who would be perfect

for me! I was like, wow, this is not exactly how I expected the date to go. The funny

thing was that I agreed, met his friend who turned out to be really nice and actually

compatible, and then he doesn’t message the day after. 

This is all just as I’m getting control of everything else in my life, I’m trying to disrupt

it with this crazy dating experience…the reason I stopped, was because the emotions

got too raw and painful, and I couldn’t actually control them at one point and became

quite depressed. I am in a much better place at the moment, and can deal with my

emotional side in a more productive and timely manner (ie: hide and suppress all

emotions for a period of time and focus on work), but it’s easy for the feelings to get

the best of me, especially when I actually like someone, which is very very rare.

In one way, it’s a good test, and has shown me that I have come a long way and can

deal with these things a lot better than I used to. I don’t try to withdraw anymore, and

actually talk to a couple of friends about it, so that it doesn’t get the best of me. That’s

always a better way, as then, they can be my rational compass, when I become

irrational! I’m still working on stopping over-analyzing every move I make, because

I’ve realized that makes me lose it, and is also not a healthy way of dealing with things.

Finally, I try to be myself on dates instead of pretending to be someone I’m not,

because otherwise I’m fooling no one but myself, as my real personality comes out

eventually anyway, as I can only pretend for so long.

I’m continuing to realize just how hard it is to find someone, as both people have to

actually like each other and get along, which after all these blind dates is seeming to be

impossible! I also have come to dislike pof and all mirror pictures with a passion!

I will continue being optimistic and thinking that there is a perfect match for everyone,

but it sure does get frustrating after a while! I will take the advice of a good friend and

try to see the positive aspect of all these dates and just look at it, as a way to meet lots

of new crazy people and have great stories to share afterward!