The end of classes- bittersweet..

So we're approaching the end of all structured lectures, and it is truly bittersweet. I actually didn't think that I'd reach this so many times that it still doesn't seem real. Transitions are hard though. Even though I can't even think on the past 2 years without absolute stress and terror, I've also learned a lot about myself and have changed quite a bit from the start. I've also met a lot of really great people and we've for sure shared a lot of stress, anger, but we've also bonded, and I've developed a lot of great friendships, and it doesn't seem fair that now that we finally have some free time, we all have our own schedules and lives and we can't actually go out and enjoy it.

These great friends accepted me for who I was, and have helped me survive the program as well as have helped my language skills develop and made me a much calmer and nicer person. It is hard knowing that a few will scattered across the large city, and a really good friend will move up north and I'll likely not be able to see her for a while.

I'm not scared kid that first entered the building, running around with my head cut off, thinking how I really don't belong here. I feel I've matured, am able to better cope with many different situation, am no longer that hysterical about random small problems because I've learned to let go of the small things since in the great scheme of things, that push from a stranger, or forgetting your lunch shouldn't be a big deal. I've learned to enjoy those few moments, to laugh, to have fun because hey nobody knows how long they have, and being miserable is not the way to live life. Life is about taking risks, enjoying life with family and friends. I've finally gotten out of my depression and have come up to breathe.

The trouble I have now is what does the next chapter of my life look like? I'm actually starting to feel old at 24, and entering the working world seems so foreign. It almost seems easier to remain a student and not have to think about working and looking for a job. Am I prepared? I would say no...I feel really really unprepared to start, and it is fairly scary..I mean people actually value my opinion? What do I know?! So I'm starting to ask myself does the future forecast med school? Getting married and having kids!? Opening my own practice? I'm not sure...I'm at a cross-roads and have to choose a path to go down, but at least I'm almost out of the never-ending dark tunnel, and the light is getting stronger, now to only choose the right direction and have the light guide me.