There are some people that are in my class that I am just amazed at and have no idea how on earth they can do the number of things that they do. I will probably regret in the future that somehow I could not do more social activities while in school but in reality I really really couldn't.
I'll try to explain my day, wake up at 7am, 8am-9am-transit, 9-4/5pm school, 4/5pm-5/6pm transit, 6-8 eat, organize,talk with friend, 8-12pm study, 12-7-sleep. Yes this is my normal day, and on the weekends I normally study for 8hr/day. Yes this is my life while I'm in class and yes I do study this much.
Why do I study so much? Is it really necessary? Well the problem is I take longer to understand and absorb information than a lot of other people in my class. This is considering that I am actually a lot more efficient at listening in class and no longer need to record and relisten to lectures. Also considering that I barely passed the last unit, I feel I do have to work a lot harder than others to survive.
Because of my intense schedule I have to confess that I have never really dated and have never had a social life that involved going out a lot and meeting with others. In recent days I have had the opportunity to try dating but quickly realized I couldn't handle the extra work involved and yes I did feel it was work! Even though it only involved texting and possibly meeting up once in 2 weeks I felt overwhelmed. I was barely surviving as it was and already sleeping only 6 hours/days so adding to that constantly checking my phone and planning weekend 'dates' was close to driving me over the wall.
Most people in my class are able to go to school, study, go to the gym/play sports, meet up with gf/bf, and go to parties with friends and sleep. I honestly have no idea how they do it. Now it's true that most of them don't commute and don't need to help family but they do have to cook and deal with partying roomates. But my question is where do they get the energy to do all that? I'm exhausted after being in class from 9-4pm every day, I would not have the energy after class to go play soccer for 2 hours then study for another 2 hours, or go to a party after class, I would just fall asleep.
Most people question how I live without going out, or playing sports, or meeting up with friends every week, but the truth is if I did that I would not be able to keep up with studying the insane amount of info they expect us to know and continue staying healthy and sane because for me it is a daily struggle.
I realize that the 20's are supposed to be the best times of my life and yes I have made sacrifices and yes 6 years is a long time not to have a life, but the truth is I have realized my parents sacrificed a lot more for me to have this opportunity and it would be a waste if I didn't try my best to succeed. In the grand scheme of things I only have a year left and after that my life is my own.
I have felt like I'm on an emotional roller coaster ever since starting this program. I have gone from feeling like being a chicken with its head cut off because my brain was in so many places at once, to feeling like a walking zombie due to lack of sleep, and of course going from depression-> anger in the course of a day, and it took me a long time to learn to regulate my emotions and learn to survive because I have realized it is definitely not easy.
I have accepted that I can't do everything especially when in school and I do have to try a lot harder and study a lot more than a lot of people but that's okay since everyone is different and my path into this program has been an unconventional one as it is so I wasn't surprised when I found I had to try harder. Everyone's energy capacity is different, and whereas others can party after school, if I try that I will either have an asthma attack, get food poisoning, or get sick from something else and will greatly inconvenience my parents so in the end its not worth it.
I do realize that I have not achieved a balance and will keep pushing my body and mind further but I do realize there is a limit and have to be careful about reaching that limit. I am satisfied that I have already managed to achieve a lot more in the past year than I have in the past 4 years in undergrad, such as having meaningful relationships with school friends, conquering my speech anxiety and constant stuttering, developing an ability to communicate and treat patients, and waking up from my never ending depression and seeing hope.
Hello, Ann. My name is Sophie. I'm glad to find your PT school adventure blog. I'm going to be a new PT student this fall. I feel anxious. I feel I have some problems as you did and I'm so glad to see you overcome them gradully as you go through PT school. I'm just a little bit afraid of the unknown because I'm the only foreigner in my class. I hope I could be like you and overcome some of my barriers by make friends and having meaningful friendships. I'm an introvert and sometimes emotional and sensitive too. I've been struggling in my mind whether pt will be a good profession for me, but I know it fits my personality. It's just I have to take the courage and get out of my comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie, and welcome to the blog! Glad to meet another fellow introvert! Trust me, you’re definitely not alone, and most people going into the program have very similar insecurities, it’s just that we feel them more because we’re not the social butterflies of the class.
ReplyDeleteI think you could definitely thrive in PT school! For myself, English is also a second language and am originally from another country, so it was definitely a very steep learning curve. The key to surviving the program is to make sure to really put yourself out there, and develop a study and support group because ultimately, my friends are what kept me going when I was still cramming for an exam at 1am, and needed a supportive person to listen.
The hardest thing for me, was that I would constantly compare myself to others who often had more experience or more knowledge in undergrad and could understand concepts a lot faster than me. The key is to remember that everyone learns differently and at a different pace. In most lectures I would be completely lost because I have a visual vs auditory learning style. I learn best by reading and seeing diagrams, so that’s why I had to spend a lot of time trying to understand things on my own at home. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what score you got on an exam, or whether you got a perfect mark on a paper, the key is whether you can work with clients and help them get over their injuries. That’s the big picture!
After finishing I could definitely say that PT is a great profession! There are many opportunities and avenues to choose from, and almost everyone can find some aspect that they love. I work in outpatients, but other people love acute, rehab, home care, neuro, as well as consulting and management positions. There is definitely something for everyone! Throughout the program, you’ll have many opportunities to explore different placements, and I’d say the important thing to remember is you don’t need to like everything, but try to find something that you really enjoy.
I continue to struggle with some things even after finishing the program as is evident on my posts, because otherwise there’d be nothing to write about! I’ve learned not to take things personally and to try to keep a professional boundary between my profession and personal life. It took a LONG time and a lot of heartache for that to develop. What I like about PT though, is that you get one-on-one with your clients, you get a chance to listen to their problems and have an important job to guide them through the recovery process after an injury, which can be very rewarding. So if you like working with others, listening to their problems and trying your best to solve them, then PT is definitely for you!
I wish you the best of luck in the program, and I’m sure you’ll find the courage to get out of your comfort zone and meet lots of new friends!
P.S. It might sound strange, but I actually found it helpful to wear an energy/calming stone to give me peace and an additional source of energy!